The political force of meanies, weenies and tweenies

Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - by Peter Golden

In this world there are three distinct political types, no more and no less. In determining their character and style we must lay aside such notions as party and social class.

In focusing on behavior, instead, it becomes possible to discriminate between meanies, weenies and tweenies by means of their action and intent.

Consider the meanie. He is a paragon of self-interest, concerned with personal advantage above all else. The world as it is—with particular respect to the meanie's assumed privileges and personal prerogatives— must be preserved at all costs. The claims of the state, no matter how equitable or even-handed, are viewed with contempt and as no more than the brutally unfair taxation schemes of the unwashed and occasionally violent masses.

Much of that which passes for life in meaniedom is devoted to protecting against expropriation by the riotous crowd. Were meanies to relent in their fierce defense of personal right and private property they might be left with nothing more than a pistol or two with which to defend their chattel and freehold.

Now consider the weenie. He asks only for that which is fair, the criteria for which is derived from a benefit or special advantage achieved on behalf of " the people" through collective bargaining or government policy.

Such benefit or advantage may occasionally be so over the top as to threaten to throw the corporation or body politic into bankruptcy. The prospect of this leads the weenie to expound on the greed of capitalists combined with the selfish propensity of heartless taxpayers to not carry their fair share.

Weenies live by assured employment and the infallible capacity of government to sort everything out. All that is evil is seen as a function of anti-social meanie privilege, intransigence and selfish impulse.

Meanies celebrate alone or in small groups; weenies demonstrate en mass. Meanies live in a world of things; weenies dream of a better future.

Who is to say which is right?

Finally, consider the tweenie, the inhabitant of an existential domain located somewhere between ambiguity and conundrum. In this place there are no verities and no final answers. Indeed, the tweenie, ever the hopeful fatalist, seeks no more than compromise between meanies and weenies as a way to progress.

Tweenies seek to understand underlying causes, conflicting agendas and long-term objectives. Their idea of the common good is defined as "making things better." The largest impediment to doing so is the conniving of meanies and weenies, which invariably blocks a compromise -- the weenie's idea of the greatest good.

Tweenies tend to moderation, thoughtful consideration and civil behavior. The number of tweenies is limited and given the state of talk show radio their prospects are thin.

Life would be simple for you and me were its conduct confined to the three archetypal characters I have just described. Alas, it is not so.

Whatever our personal stripe, we too bear the mark of the M, the W and T. We too must struggle in the swamp against ever-growing complexity and constant change, the whole driven by the unending scramble for power.

Power, as someone once observed, is not exchanged without the exercise of violence or its proxy, politics. The legislatures and courts are the trading floor of politics and are inhabited by ultrameanies and megaweenies, through who's hands flow the currency of power. Lord have mercy on us all.

Yet there is hope. In the general ranks stand some who got all A's in school, have benefited from education and yet are tweenieish, their tendency to meannieism or weenieism notwithstanding.

EdMs, PhDs and EEs complement the rows of MDs, MBAs, and LLBs. Beside them stand licensed electricians, plumbers, and builders. The broken bone is mended; the lesson taught; the lights go on. We blunder through on the strength of the professions and trades.

Were it possible to step out of this whirlwind of contention, to slip the bounds of polite society and return to some more innocent state, meanies and weenies might disappear in the blink of an eye. Factor out the loonies, however, and we are still stuck with each other.

Seeing the limitations under which we live, is it so surprising that we err when forced to act collectively? Some lands may be governed by wise consensus, but I know not where. Given our shortcomings it is a wonder we have given up eating each other's flesh. Vegans should take heart; things could be much worse.

As for our immortal souls, the notion that we at least make a show of submitting to the will of some higher creature is a comfort. Can reason be far behind?

Thank God the sun rises in the morning and sets at night of its own accord. Were the matter left in our care, it might be extinguished altogether.

Peter Golden ponders on the fate of humankind in Natick.

 
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